What I did in your town – From Danb & New Milf to Somers and Croton Falls

MY EXPERIENCES IN YOUR TOWN

CT -

Danbury – Worked, lived, culturally diverse…food is great and people are awesome!

New Milford – Lived there, loved it.  I miss being there.  Even though 50 percent of the guys I played softball with were douches

New Fairfield – Ethan Carey moved here…YEAH WE DID IT

Bethel – A guy that lived in Bethel admitted to me it was a hybrid between New Milford and Ridgefield.

Brookfield – Awesome but the green should be bigger!  I will expand it…no I won’t!

Wilton – Where I took my dates when I wanted to pretend to have money.

Weston - Where I took my dates when I wanted to pretend to have money.

Sherman – I annexed this bitch.  It’s now known as New Shmilford

Kent – Where future Una-bombers go to live…Sorry Kent

Bridgewater – Dry town – get real – You are the drunkest people in CT.

Southbury – Our hottest chick listeners come from here!

Ridgefield – MILF CITY ….Um yes…I have no money and your wife hit on me every time I was there!

Monroe – Hey I know nothing about Monroe…

Trumbull – Same

Norwalk – South Norwalk. Where I used to take my ex to waste money!

Bridgeport – Stratford Ave – What up!  I’ll tell you what up …COCAINE!

NY -

Long Island – Why they can hear us I don’t know but thanks!

Brewster – My home…if we got ratings from Brewster it would be RIDICULOUS!

Mahopac – Um, hey ladies…thanks for living 10 minutes from my house in Brewster pre-social media – YES, that happened!

Patterson – Lived there twice…why do you exist??

Carmel – Where I met and dated my only non-English speaking GF – 3 months with a chick that spoke only French!  Thank you Carmel!

Pawling – Stop.  Your neighborhood is safe but boring as sin!

Wingdale – Worse than Pawling!

Croton Falls – Smallest town ever!

Katonah – 684 sucks ass!

Mt. Kisco – 684 suck ass!

Somers – I was captain of the JV football team the day you beat us 55-7.  F.U.  Somers!  Let’s fight!

Peekskill – All you do is put the best players in the backfield and run the option!

Poughkeepsie - All you do is put the best players in the backfield and run the option!

Mohegan Lake – Retail.Yep buy a house there, sounds great…you will just be in traffic every SINGLE DAY!

Lake Carmel – What’s the difference between you and Carmel…Nothing?

Lake Mahopac - What’s the difference between you and Mahopac…Nothing?

Putnam Lake – Quads and underage drinking…. My town…. my youth. …Would not trade it…we all knew each other and were friends…. F*&K with a laker and see what happens!

Dover – Low-rent Put Lake

Dover Plains – Um.Don’t know and don’t care!

Poughquag – My cousins live here…whatever.  It sucks ass but awesome people live there!

Yorktown – AGAIN, I was captain of the JV Brewster football team that week on the JV team 95’ you beat us 55-10.  Let’s meet in a parking lot and fight!  F. U. guys!  I still hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!