Ah, the company Christmas party. It's a wonderful night filled with saying all the right things, behaving, holding back and, in general, not being yourself. It's so relaxing, isn't it? You get to exchange stock greetings, wear a painful smile and be politically correct.

It's brutal. The one silver lining to these parties has always been sweet, sweet alcohol consumption. It's the poisonous nectar that silences the shrieks of rage in your mind. It's the medicine that gets you through stock, painfully boring, pleasantry exchanges.

Well according to new survey results revealed in a Daily Mail article, 51% of American companies WILL NOT OFFER ALCOHOL at this year's party. They had reasons, they were all the same "blah, blah, blah" we have always heard. Alcohol makes people do dumb things, alcohol lowers inhibitions — we have heard it all before. It's sad but true news.

It does not bother me too much and I have two reasons why:

#1 - For now, my company still does offer alcohol. #2 - If they ever take it off the menu, I won't go. I don't feel any political obligation to be there. I probably should, but I don't.

For those of you who will attend an alcohol-free company XMAS party, I feel for you, I really do. The only suggestion I have for you is to invent a game for just you and your significant other to pass the time.

Maybe count how many times Glenn in accounting says "terrific." You can bet on how many people Cindy shows pictures of her grandchildren. Or just be a complete wild-card, playing-with-fire lunatic and bring your own flask. Merry XMAS to all and to all a good night.

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