Would You Let Your Kid Fail to Learn a Lesson?

I was recently reading a blog on the ctnews.com website titled "My best parenting advice: Let your kid fail" about a mom who knew her fourth grader had a report due, as did he, but she refused to nag, and yell, and bribe him about getting his report completed by deadline day.

When it wasn't handed in, the 10-year-old was chastised by his teacher because he chose not to do the work which taught him a valuable lesson, that he needed to be responsible for his work not his mom, which led me to ask the question: Would you let your kid fail to learn a lesson?

This true story reminded me about some very good friends of ours, who's 17 year old daughter was a senior in high school. Her boyfriend was out of school, was a bit older and had his own apartment. She asked her mom if she could stay with him on random weekends or if maybe he could spend the night at their house every once in awhile. These very wise parents, instead of yelling or preaching to their daughter, calmly told her that, "No, she lived here and that's where she would be sleeping."

Their daughter walked away to process her mom's answer only to return later to tell her that if she wasn't allowed to stay with the boyfriend, she might have to move in with him. Our friend told us that this is "a situation" when engaging your brain first is crucial before delivering a barrage of "Are you **&$$ing kidding me? Move in with your boyfriend?!!! Over my dead body!! Do you know what that would do to your father?!!" 

Without a threatening or angry tone to her voice, she explained to her daughter, "If you decide to move out, you need to understand that your dad and I won't be supporting you. We'll be happy to financially help you out if you're living under our roof while you're still in school."    

The daughter told her she didn't like it, but understood. Long story, short: The boyfriend turned out to be an alcoholic, so her daughter tried her best to "FIX" him. The daughter became so incredibly stressed and depressed that she asked if she could come home. Her parents welcomed her back, no questions asked. The day after her first night home, she washed all of her mom's and dad's clothes, folded them, and placed them neatly in their bedroom. Lesson Learned! Our friends told us that letting their daughter move out was, "the toughest decision that they've had to make as parents. 

So, Would You Let Your Kid Fail to Learn a Valuable Lesson?

Listen to Ethan Carey on the Ethan & Lou Show weekdays from 5:30-10AM on 95.1 FM. You can listen online at i95rock.com/listen-live/ or by downloading the radioPup app for your mobile device.