Do you have that one friend or family member who, without fail, can ruin a holiday get together because of their behavior?

If this individual is part of the family, you realize they must be invited, but really hope they won't show up. This person is usually confrontational, rude, and always appears to be in a bad mood, and eventually the yelling and screaming begins. Worst of all, it's not a one time thing, it's an every-time thing. How do you deal with someone like this? The only way to deal is to try and understand why they act this way. In many cases, there's a good chance their behavior is due to a mental disorder like Borderline Personality Disorder, also known as Emotional Unstable Personality Disorder. 

I'm not saying that everyone who's disruptive, difficult, and angry has a mental disorder. If a friend or family member exhibits these kind of behaviors, they may have BPD.

1. Extreme Mood Swings

2. Intense Feelings of Abandonment

3. Unstable Relationships with Family and Friends

4. Distorted or Unstable Self-Image

5. Impulsive or Risky Behaviors

6. Chronic Feelings of Emptiness

7. Inappropriate Intense Anger

8. Having Stress Related Paranoid Thoughts/Intense Anxiety

9. Suicidal Threats or Causing Self Injury

*IMPORTANT - Individuals who have a mental illness don't choose to act the way they do. Their brains are wired differently than yours or mine. 

Ethan James and Bradley - Ethan Carey Photo

Yes, my son Ethan James(EJ) was diagnosed with BPD in his early 20's. He's attempted suicide twice, he's punched numerous holes in my wall from severe temper tantrums, he's been kicked out of the house a number of times due to inappropriate behavior, he's been addicted to drugs, and he still suffers from intense anxiety, BUT, he finally got sick and tired of feeling like crap every day and got some help and that is the first key ingredient . He sees a therapist on a regular basis and is on medication to help with his mood swings and anxiety. There is help out there!

I'll never forget the words from Dr. Alan Fruzetti, a specialist on Borderline Personality Disorder. when he told me,

"Imagine waking up every morning in a bad mood, not just a typical bad mood, but one of the worst you've ever experienced. That's what someone with BPD feels like every single day."

If you know someone who might need help but they don't know where to turn, please email my wife, Mindy Cass at To get all the facts about BPD, click on the National Institute of Mental Health's website.

Listen to Ethan Carey on the Ethan & Lou Show weekdays from 5:30-10AM on 95.1 FM. You can listen online at or by downloading the radioPup app for your mobile device.