Why Birthdays Are Simply the Worst

Today is my 37th birthday. For most people who don't like their birthday, it has to do with their number growing, or feeling as though they are one more year closer to the grave. That is not why I don't like my birthday, oh, no.

The real reason is that your family and friends will insist on sitting you at the end of the table, they will stare at you, and sing to you. That is my worst nightmare. For some unknown reason, I get VERY uncomfortable when a person sings to me for any reason. Always have. I don't even like to be in the room with someone who is singing. This has actually posed a challenge for me over the years here at the radio station. Whenever we have an in-studio guest who comes on to perform, I have to get up and leave the room until it is over. I usually make up some excuse why I got up, left, and came back. I will often tell them that I wanted to hear how the mix sounded for the on-air feed. That is a lie. It's because I could not watch them sing.

My friends and family know how uncomfortable I get when someone sings to me. In fact my buddy Jose has sent a barbershop quartet to sing to me the last two Valentine's Days. I hate that. So, for me, birthdays are torture. I dread seeing a cake or candles because I know what follows. A crowd of people staring at me, and singing, while I try and prevent my face from breaking out into one massive nervous tick. Happy Birthday? No such thing.