Why are people not taking me with them on vacation?

I realize it's expensive but I'm like a cruise director or a "fun director."

This pic is of me in Antigua with Ethan, Pam and the listeners.  I led an unrivaled dance party.  I led a conga line to kill for.  We swam, we drank, we ate.  I met more people than anyone at that resort and then I introduced them to our listeners and then we did really illegal fun things that I can't mention.  Other than the fact that I never have money on me and cannot pay for anything I'm the world's single best vacation wingman.  I promise you a good time.  Here's my vacation agenda:

1 - Wake up at 8am

2 - Go to breakfast but don't eat and drink mimosas

3 - Change and go to the pool.

4 - Jump in the water and hit the pool bar

5 - Have drinks and swim till 2:30

6 - Go back to my room and sleep till 9pm

7 - Go to dinner at 9:45 after a long shower

8 - Stay out at the resort bar till 2am dancing and singing.

THE BOSS OF VACATION ISRIGHT HERE!