Where Have Bears Been Spotted in CT?

According to the News Times, there were 4,000-plus bear sightings in southwestern CT between Jan. of 2015 and Jan. of 2016. 

The bears were spotted in Monroe, Trumbull, Easton, Shelton and a butt load of them in Avon. There have also been an alarming number of sightings in New Milford and even Danbury. Now, I am all for nature and it's wilds, but this is too close for comfort, friends. You know what a black bear can do with your face? They can remove it with just a swipe of the paw is what. So, break out the bear mace, and start panicking. There is no time like today to get enveloped in anxiety. These bears will run out of woods to hang in their next stop, Wal-Mart, or maybe you will even see them pull up a stool next to you at O'Connor's. Once that starts, the end is near. They are coming for our women and our precious metals, and we need both our women and precious metals. Here are some helpful hints if you spot a bear:

• Do not try and reason with them, they are unreasonable.
• No impressions of famous bears from TV and movies, THEY HATE THAT.
• No puns. Saying something is unbearable will put you in a world of hurt.
• No mention of Grizzly Adams.
• No mention of Mutual of Omaha's: "Wild Kingdom" starring Marlin Perkins
• No break dancing. It confuses them greatly.

We will go into further detail on how not to upset a Black Bear tomorrow on the Ethan and Lou show. So, join us at 6:15 AM, and feel free to call us at 203-775-9595.

P.S. I know my featured image is not of a Black Bear, but a Grizzly Bear. It was the best one I could find.