What is the Hokey Pokey Really All About? And Other Oxymorons I Need Answered

I have some questions here that I think have never been answered … read below.

1) What is the hokey pokey really all about?

2) Can time stand still?

3) Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?

4) Why does slow down and slow up mean the same thing?

5) Why do you drive on the highway and park in the driveway? - GEORGE CARLIN

6) Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

7) If a word is misspelled in the dictionary how would we know?

8) Why do tug boats push their barges?

ANSWER THESE BABIES AND THE MOST CREATIVE WINS AND GETS NOTHING. Actually I might hook you up with tickets.  Depends on how good and creative you are.

GO!