What Could Make the Oscars Suck Less?

I say random bursts of fire is a good start.  You never know what celebrity is gonna get toasted. 

Imagine you have Jennifer Lawrence on stage rambling on, talking about her friendship with Amy Shumer, crying and BAM fire.  Bursts of fire from all different directions.  It's just an idea.  A work in progress.  I'm not married to it.

What about making exes sit with each other.  You would see Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton in a slap fight, maybe Jennifer Aniston desperately pawing at Brad Pitt.  Burt Reynolds taking Lonnie Anderson down to mustache town.  The possibilities are endless.

You could do a trap door at the podium for anyone who goes over their time, anyone who gets political, cries or quotes a any civil rights activist.  You do any of those things and you are gone never to be seen again.  Not only do you fall through the trap door but you are instantly Shang Hai'd and brought to a far off land where you are required to reenact every one of your terrible movies until the end of time.

Something needs to be done.  It's the most boring thing on TV.  The real worst part is when they actually televise the presentation of awards in categories none of us care about.  No one wants to see who won the wardrobe category at the Oscars and we certainly do not want to sit through your speech once you do win.  Short foreign films?  Nah.  Keep that too.  You can mail those people their Oscars and save us all the trouble of watching these people.  In fact that will clear up more space in the crowd for whacked out celebs like Gary Busey to liven things up.

Either way the Oscars will go off whether we like it or not.  Sunday February 28th hosted by Chris Rock.  Chris Rock will probably be the only bright spot of the night.

We will got to the phones about this tomorrow on the Ethan and Lou show.  Call us at 203-775-9595.