U.F.O Spotted in New York

I heard about this this morning, and I was all over it.

According to the New York Post, hundreds of calls flooded in from Hunts Point, NY with reports of a U.F.O. hovering over the city on Saturday night. Some people described it as a flying spaceship and others called it a red fireball.

Either way aliens are here my friends.

The problem with me, or anyone for that matter, being excited about aliens coming here is that if they actually ... do we are SO screwed.

Stephen Hawking has warned that any alien encounter would not likely end well.  I'm paraphrasing here, but basically he said we would take a beating.

What is with these aliens anyway?  Whenever you hear alien abduction stories they always involve some sort of rectal exam.  What are they looking for in our butts?  Is there some valuable resource in our butts that we are not aware of?  Should we be digging around in our own butts to find whatever it is they are looking for?  Is the secret to life in there?

So many questions.