You think you know, but you have no idea. This is the true story of -- me.

I'm, of course, a radio host, a failed stand-up comedian, a failed TV personality, and a failed writer. What people don't know is that I can whistle like you read about, which is why they call me, "Whistles Dingle Dangle." Then, there are the bubbles -- my God, man, the bubbles.

This is how I pass the time at work when all the preparation is done. I go sit in Joey Ech's office, I don't say a word, and I blow saliva bubbles. You cannot imagine how much he appreciates it. If you would like a detailed tutorial on how to blow your own hideous spit bubbles read below.

  • Get your mouth moist, not too moist but moist. Too wet, and you can't form a bubble. Too dry, and you can't blow it.
  • Curl the tip of your tongue up slightly
  • Arch the back of your tongue
  • You can feel the bubble forming now
  • Slowly work the middle of your towards the edge of your mouth, the bubble will move to the tip of your tongue
  • Now blow softly, and let the magic begin.

You are welcome.