The Joy of Having a Colonoscopy

Don't worry, I'll give information, but not T-M-I...

I'll just get it right out there. I recently underwent a colonoscopy. Yes, that word alone sends shivers up your butt, doesn't it? I want to tell you that it isn't bad! I heard so many horror stories from people leading up to the big event. "Oh man, the cleanse is the worst" , "You can't eat anything solid for 24 hours" , "The stuff you have to drink tastes like gasoline and rotten fish" and "My friend woke up in the middle of the procedure!" etc.

Here's what I went through: The day before the procedure, I was directed to go onto a clear-liquid diet. I went out and bought 5 cans of chicken broth, a jar of beef bouillon cubes, and a couple boxes of Jello. That's your diet for the day of the cleanse. Not bad. You can drink clear soda, like Sprite, and sport-drinks also. I thought I was going to be ravenous, being that I am a massive human being, but I was fine.

You are directed to take a whole bunch of laxatives. Which I did. And all I want to say about that is, it's something that most of us do everyday, some more so than others. There were a lot of tenants vacating the building during the afternoon, but, by evening time? The building was empty. Then you go to sleep.

The next morning, as we went into the facility, I was nervous. All of the horror stories were running through my head. The staff was very friendly, and they've heard every butt joke in the book, so don't try it. I was told to strip down and put on a hospital gown, and they started an IV on me. One needle pinch. That's it. The doctor came in and introduced himself, and then the anesthesiologist stopped by and explained that I was going to be given Propofol to knock me out. They briefly explained the procedure, and off I went.

I haven't been knocked unconscious since 1982. Let me tell you, anesthesia has come a long way. The Doctor said "Here comes the good stuff" and I felt a warm feeling rush through my body, and then..... I woke up with a nurse saying "How do you feel?" I felt great! As aware and awake as I am right now trying to write this story. No fuzzy-feelings, no disorientation, no pain. The doctor came in about five minutes later and said they found three polyps, which were sent away for further testing, (They were benign). I want to reiterate that I felt absolutely no pain.

Mrs. Large picked me up in front of the building, I waddled over to the car, and then we went home. Why am I writing this? If someone said to me, "Hey, you feel one needle pinch, and then you're done", maybe I would have had 1 polyp. And if you're teetering on the fence of getting one done or pushing it off another year? I want to be that guy that said, "Do it. It's no big deal".

So, do it. It's no big deal. Colon cancer is a big deal, and this simple procedure may save your life.

Listen to Large Dave on 95.1 FM, online at i95rock.com/listen-live/ or by downloading the radioPup app for your mobile device.