Star Wars Hype is at Critical Mass and Here I am on the Sidelines.
Everyone is going nuts and I cannot come out and play.
It's like being inside while grounded and hearing all your friends outside playing dodgeball. This is torture. And why you ask!? CAUSE I'M A DAD (whiny, complaining tone). Yeah because I have RESPONSIBILITIES (whiny, complaining tone). I even asked Erica if we could maybe make it out over the weekend to a show BUT NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! WE HAVE PLANS (whiny, complaining tone).
I have to see this thing before I learn too much. I know too much man. One of my buddies was able to score VIP tickets to an advanced screening the other night and while scrolling through my Facebook news feed I saw that he just happened to reveal a major event from the plot. That's not cool man. We are no longer friends. Another friend of mine went and saw the movie last night and came into work this morning to blurt out another detail I did not want to hear. Then I was reading CNN's review and I would just like to thank them for ruining the first ten minutes of the movie for me.
This is unacceptable. People need to think before they talk and they need to consider the feelings of others. I have been a Star Wars fan my whole life. I need to see this. Lemme tell you something else....if ten year old Lou Milano knew that 36 year old Lou Milano did not go to see the new Star Wars movie on opening night he would kick my ass. It would be the ass kicking for the ages.
So here's the deal going forward. If anyone reveals anymore details to me about this movie let's just say we are going to have some words.