It's embarrassing! I'm 64-years-old and I haven't learned how to fix anything around my house, unless you consider replacing light bulbs as "fixing things." Forget about knocking down a wall or even putting up sheet rock ... it's not happening.

The only other thing I can do is mow the lawn and I must admit I do that quite well wearing my tie-dyed T-shirt and nut hugger shorts!


The fact that I suck at home repair was reinforced this past Friday when I attempted to replace the toilet seat in my bathroom. It's pretty simple....all you have to do is remove the old toilet seat by unscrewing the hinges that fasten it to the ceramic toilet bowl.

The first hinge unscrewed without a hitch but the second hinge, that son-of-a-bitch!! I had saws, ratchet sets, pliers, WD40,  two hammers, and a drill, all in my tiny bathroom where the temperature had to be 90 plus, and I was sweating like a greased pig!

I'm sure a plumber could have finished the job in 10 minutes and charged me $125, but I refused to give in. I'm pretty sure a stripped screw was the culprit.


Have you ever had a conversation with a toilet? I threw verbal insults at this thing like you read about, one after another. I was worked up and yelled and called it horrible names. I could tell I had hurt its feelings because it was flushing all by itself! Finally I began to calm down, toned down my shouting of the F-Bomb, and stopped using the Lord's name in vain, and told myself I'd return the following morning and start fresh. On Saturday morning I decided to call in some reinforcements, my brother and sister-in-law. He proceeded to buy a hack saw and had the screw out of the there and the new toilet seat up and running within 20 minutes. Relief washed over me realizing I was rescued, yet another part of my brain began beating me up because I'd registered another "major fail" in the home repair department. To add insult to injury, all of the tools used in this bathroom debacle belonged to Mindy! Condo livin' is the place I oughta be!

Listen to Ethan Carey on the Ethan & Lou Show weekdays from 5:30-10AM on 95.1 FM. You can listen online at or by downloading the radioPup app for your mobile device.