According to, Olive Garden is set to roll out its newest menu item called the "Meatball Pizza Bowl." This is an edible bowl made of pizza dough filled with 10 meatballs. TEN! It costs just 9 dollars and comes with unlimited bread sticks. I took the liberty of creating a commercial for it:

I'm not going to sit here and preach to anyone about healthy living. That's not fair because I have been known to get real unhealthy from time to time. Instead I will pose a question. Are we SO far gone that we need to EAT our bowls? The BOWL has to be edible? Also who the hell eats 10 meatballs?

What's next? Well I'll tell you. After you have polished off your 10 meatballs, your edible bowl and the unlimited bread sticks you can eat your friggin fork. That's what is next, then it will be the spoon, the butter knife, the table, chairs and finally your server.

If we make it 30 more years as a human race without being annihilated by aliens, zombies or nuclear war you will witness a server being devoured by the Smith family at your local Olive Garden.

P.S. This is not a Olive Garden problem, this is everywhere. We are never satisfied with our food options. So these companies answer the call with more cheese and meat, hidden cheese and meat and UNGODLY food pairings. MERICA!