When a flight attendant gets asked why there is a delay with takeoff and their response is,  "We don't wanna die," then they have failed at their most important job.  That job is to make us feel ridiculous but helpful sense of safety. 

Why would you say this?  WHY!?

Now you will notice that the passengers respond in a completely appropriate manner.  They swear at her, they yell at her and they are generally befuddled.  That is how that needed to be handled.  You cannot use honesty as any kind of productive tool on an aircraft of any kind.  If you are in a power position on an aircraft then job #1 is to lie to your passengers again and again until they have landed safely or plunged into the ocean at 600 miles per hour.  It's that simple.

I think that flight attendant's much like taxi drivers should have a prominently displayed license that can easily be identified.  That way we can take down your name, ID number and all your information so we can report you and ultimately get you fired.  Fire-able offenses would include but are not limited to:

  • Saying the words: "We don't wanna die:"
  • Using the words: death, dead, dying..anything related to no longer living
  • Telling me you will give me a free beverage to make up for the fact that my TV is the only one on the plane that does not work.  That does not cut it honey...either bring me a full bottle of Jack Daniels or get your tool set and fix it now.
  • Bumping my elbow with the drink cart.


All of those things get you fired, END OF STORY.  I really think I am onto something here.