I got a text message last night from Tim Sheehan, the man responsible for the wildly popular "My Three Songs." He asked: "Are you expecting any clunkily wrapped packages from a listener in Wappingers?" I said no, but for sure appreciated the invention of the word "clunkily."

The mystery was on. We got a box, my name on it, no return address and much larger than your average fan/hate mail. After discussing the likelihood of it being Anthrax we agreed to just leave it for me to unwrap in the morning.

This morning it was like Christmas. I got some scissors and started to open the package. Good thing I had the scissors because it turned out to be a gag as old as time. It was a box in a box in a box.

Lou's phone

But WAIT, after all these boxes were open there was a small one inside with actual gifts for me. The Ethan and Lou listeners know that I am a big Oakland Raiders fan. One of them actually purchased me some Raiders gear.

Lou's phone
Lou's phone
Lou's phone

It was exciting to get a gift from a fan and I was appreciative. I even danced with the items.

Lou's phone

ONE PROBLEM.

Lou's phone

I'm not a 2XL. These days, I am a "Smedium" at best. Even when I was fat I required only 1XL. However, I am not a man who looks a gift horse in the mouth. I wouldn't do that because I don't know what the hell it means. So I say thank you to YOU, mystery gift giver. My wife Erica can wear these to bed! Now we got something.

P.S. Did Tim and I really discuss if the box contained Anthrax or a bomb? We did indeed and I almost told him to "Open the box Leo."

P.S. #2 - Certainly glad it was not my girlfriend's severed head.

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