I walk in the door to an empty house and every cabinet, drawer, door, closet, shower curtain and even the oven are all wide open. I grab a knife off the counter and investigate like a teenage white girl in a horror movie.  Yes, I am a sucker and I deserved this prank, but she is going to get it in return.

The dumbest part is I called her while I was walking around the house and she laughed at me and said if you thought it was something why would I call her and not 911? It's a good question, a really fair question in fact.  When I asked her if she did it she laughed and laughed.  Not funny man.

I told her that she needs to understand that when I do get her she will never see it coming and it's going to be bad.  It's probably going to be something that makes her cry and she will probably be mad at me for a very long time, but it will be SO worth it.