If Trump can do it I can. 

I am running for Mayor of Danbury, CT.  This is my town, not Mark Boughton's.

You are going down my friend.  My campaign slogan is: "Money, Cash, Ho's."  I intend to build a coliseum where men will battle to the death.  You have to give people games so they are distracted with entertainment while you do shady political things, but they don't notice because they are too busy watching the blood bath.

I will invade Bethel and we will steal their women and precious metals. We will harvest these ladies and these metals and take their men as prisoners.

To do this I will need an army. I need a Danbury Army. So enlist now by responding to this blog.  Don't worry about your well being.  Bethel is soft.  If we start the war at 8am on a Monday we will have taken the city by 8:15 on the same Monday.