My Guidelines For What NOT to Do at a Steely Dan Concert
I'll admit, I'm not a regular concert goer, but when I drop $125 to see one of my favorite bands, I have expectations.
This past Sunday, I traveled to Wallingford to catch one of my favorite bands, Steely Dan, at one of my favorite concert venues, the Toyota Oakdale Theatre and was able to score sixth row center seats.
When I attend a concert like Steely Dan, especially if I'm dropping $125 on the ticket, I need to see "The Dan's" lead guitarist, Jon Herrington rip the guitar solo to "Kid Charlemagne." It's worth the price of admission to watch drummer Keith Carlock flawlessly execute the drum solo to "Aja".
With that said, here are some of my pet peeves about what not to do at a Steely Dan concert.
If you need a beer or a bump every half hour, for God sakes, grab a couple of 24 ouncers and sit the hell down for more than 20 minutes at a time. Dude, if you've done a quick bump and you're vibin', please refrain from workin' your dance moves as you're falling over everyone trying to get back to your seat.
I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy an adult beverage either before or during the concert, but good God man, do everyone a favor and pace yourself. No one needs to hear you yell, "Whoop Whoop" every 3 minutes during The Dan's "Peg." One more thing, to the middle aged woman four seats down from me who was flailing and smacking the back of the guys head in front of her, don't get into his face when he turns around and asks you to please stop! PACE YOURSELF.
I'll admit, if I love the band as much as I love Steely Dan, this singing thing can be a problem for me. The person in front of me certainly doesn't want to hear me sing along to the lyric, "Double helix in the sky tonight, blow out the hardware let's do it right." from the song, "Hey Nineteen." You get a pass on this rule if you're singing along at the top of your lungs but only if everyone else is doing the same thing.
Holding up your ipad sized smartphone to record the entire concert is rude and inconsiderate, especially if you're sitting in front of me. I understand we're close to the stage and you can't wait to show your friends how much Donald Fagen sweats during the concert, but I would also like to enjoy the show too, Annie Liebowitz! So do everyone a favor, please put your freakishly large smartphone up your ass so I'm also able to enjoy the Steely Dan concert. Trust me, your friends and family don't want to watch a concert on your puny smartphone screen.
I didn't pay $125 to stand up and watch a concert. If you feel you need to get your groove on or let your freak flag fly, find a George Clinton Parliament-Funkadelic concert and boogaloo your ass off! I'm a boring 66 year old guy who doesn't get out that much and just wants to relax and catch one of my favorite bands, plus you're blocking my view of the hot back-up singers.
If you've brought along a vinyl copy of Steely Dan's "Aja" for Donald Fagen to sign and your standing at the front of the stage hoping he'll see you, step back and reassess your life. First, Donald Fagen is a weird cat and wouldn't be caught dead signing anything for anybody, and second, the cover of the Aja album is black, so draw the obvious conclusion Einstein. Do what the rest of the sheeple do and drop $45 for a Steely Dan T-shirt in the lobby.
Haven't we learned our lesson by a generation of concertgoers yelling "Freebird"?! Don't be "that guy" dude! Believe it or not, Steely Dan, along with most other touring rock bands have a set list ready to go for each show. Yelling out, "Peg" is obnoxious enough, but yelling out an obscure Steely Dan song like, "Fire In The Hole" from their first album is just plain imbecilic. Even Donald Fagen would give you a nasty look if he heard you, plus there's a pedal steel guitar in the song. Did you see a pedal steel guitar up on stage?