Message Exchange With My Wife Goes Terribly Wrong

If you ever find yourself in a back and forth on Facebook or via text with my wife, Erica, you should duck and cover.

She sent me for a coffee yesterday -- the second time in two days. I was given the order on Saturday morning and got it right. I was then expected to get it right on Sunday from memory. Since that is not possible, I just guessed, and came up with a recipe that I thought might trick her. Above is the start of the messages I received this morning. She continues below:

Here is the thing about trying to fake your way through life exercises and/or lie. You want to go ahead destroy the little piece of paper called the receipt that has all the details about how you have failed miserably at life. If you do not, you find yourself in a world of hurt. You can slither and squirm all you want, but you will be told that "you suck" in a very hurtful and imaginative way. "We could love each other forever if you just follow my advice." I'll have to remember that one.