The i95 crew is not big on moderation. When we go, we go hard. So when someone said, "Say, let's get a plant." Someone else said, "F that noise, chief, let's get 6." This what I walked into this morning at work. Allow me to take you on a tour of the i95 botanical garden.

I think I saw a Velociraptor!

Our overall interior design message has become, "Make way for photosynthesis." We know how to chloro-FILL a room. I'll CO2 you in the lobby.

Now cross your fingers, the clock is ticking on these plants. I'm setting the over/under number at 22 days. Over or under 22 days before these plants are knockin' on heaven's door? I'm actually going to take the over, but not by much. I say these plants will live to see 30 days. I hope this is not the case, I'm really rooting for them — you see what I did there?

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