Lou Scribes a Heartfelt Letter to His Sons as School Starts

There is that moment at the end of the school year when your kids get off the bus for the final time and summer begins. You can see in their little faces that they are imagining all the possibilities for what is in store for them.

You want to give them a summer they will never forget. You do your best, and hopefully, you do not disappoint them. If most parents are honest with themselves, they will tell you that by the 1st of August, they have had it. The kids have gotten more than their fair share of good times, but the summer just won't relent. You tell yourself that you are almost there and to push through. The day then comes, and it's time for them to go back. That is when mom's and dad's faces light up with joy, and the possibilities of what is in store for them flood their heads. Sitting down in an empty room, and eating a quiet meal by yourself all are on the horizon. It is that time, mom and dad. Let us celebrate together. Enjoy my letter to my children.

Some guy heard me read this on the air this morning, and called to ask that I post it online so he could share it with friends, and steal it for himself. So, below I have provided the text. Enjoy, sir:

It's been a wonderful summer, my boys. We had many adventures, and now it is time for you to go. You have tested my patience, drained my wallet, and systematically found new and interesting ways to put me at odds with my favorite person - my wife.
Now, you need to grab your crap, sharpen your pencils, and board the yellow sled that smells like starbursts and urine, and head to school. It's time for you to get to work, to sharpen your mind. You need to get good grades, go to a good college on scholarship, get good jobs, and get rich. Because by the time you do all of that, I will be physically and mentally incapable of caring for myself.

No more play dates, water parks, hikes or sleep overs. No more Minecraft, Pokemon Go or ICarly. Get out of my house and go back to school before dad snaps like a rubber band. When you are at school, I will think of you fondly. Mostly because I will be drunk. Oh, and Daddy loves you.