Would You Like to Be a Lifeguard at a Nearby Nudist Colony?

According to Yahoo, a Rhode Island nudist colony has a job to fill. They need a lifeguard for their nude swimming time. The Dyer Woods Nudist Campgrounds' is seeking a lifeguard with "excellent communication skills" and the ability to "work as part of a team."

This "team" will of course, be butt naked in the bright summer sun. Most of your communication skills will be used to remind people to "not rub things on people without their permission."

I'm imaging you will also need to be the kind of person who can "unsee" things. You may need to have the emotional and mental fortitude to compartmentalize your work life from your personal life. You will need to if you EVER want to have a healthy sexual relationship with your significant other.

I mean these nudist colonies are usually made up of the kind of people you would never want to see naked. They are typically older, out of shape people who are often sun burnt head to toe. A person can only look at SO many human strips of bacon tanning their pearls in the blinding sun.

Consider the many damaging visuals that your mind is going to have to process. You have the flapjack rear end, the bunt in the front, the Pillsbury back roll, goblin feet, misshapen micro-penis, tangled webs of varicose veins and giant out of place hair plumes.

This is not a job for the feint of heart. If you have a weak stomach, you are too short to ride this ride.

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