Grand Opening: New Water Bar for Idiots Only

According to a website called Foodbeast, a Minnesota water bar will celebrate its grand opening in May. According to me, the biggest morons in all of Minnesota will attend.

That's right, they will serve water, and not just any water, but TAP WATER from all around the local area. They will also encourage their customers to try and figure out the water's origin. I can tell you the origin... IT'S THE TAP! They don't even have enough respect for you to lie about that part. They are literally going to sell people something they can get in their bathroom sink for free. The amazing part is that people will go, and they will open their wallets, and gladly pay for it.

This is why I have decided that no business idea is a bad one. They just all are as good as your passion for selling them to suckers who just wanna buy stuff. People attracted to throwing their hard-earned dollars in the trash can.

I'd like to propose a toast to, in my opinion, the most mentally weak faction of humanity, the consumer. Here's to your eminent downfall due to your obsession with purchasing things and services in an attempt to fill a chasm in your soul. A hole so deep, so endless, and so dark, that no amount of gadgets and clothes will ever fill it. Drink up morons.