Of course I am aware of the few years where she gained weight, shaved her head and went bat s--- crazy. Everyone is entitled to a few down years. She recovered in a big way and has been breaking dudes necks since 1999. I am one of those dudes.

Why Britney you might say? Here are the top 6 reasons why:

  • She has this trailer park/farmer's daughter thing going on. Now, I'm not proud to say that is appealing but it is and I cannot explain why.
  • When Britney broke on the scene she had that hot teen cheerleader thing going on - In fairness I was a teen at the time so it is not creepy to say.
  • She is crazy. Crazy chicks make for big time fun. I mean if they are certifiable and I think she is she can give you the best long weekend of your life. You don't want to marry her or anything but you should definitely hang out long enough to ALMOST get arrested because of her behavior.
  • She has attained full MILF status and there is nothing better.
  • She's got the goods and we've had enough of a preview over the years to have a solid idea of what we might be in for if you know what I mean.
  • She dates losers.

Favorite Britney performances and videos over the years in order:

1 - Slave - MTV Video Music Awards - The chick is holding a snake, that's not a subtle message she is sending.

2 - Slave - Music Video - The chick is holding a snake, that's not a subtle message she is sending. Yes twice.

3 - Hit me baby one more time - If you launch your career in a school girl outfit, you are destined for success.

4 - Toxic - One of her sh------t songs in a catalog loaded with s--- songs but she managed to cover three male fantasies in one video. The chick is the equivalent of a Mortal Kombat fatality move.

5 - Sometimes - Just when you were not looking she's the girl next door

6 - Slumber Party - At the seasoned age of 36, still got it, although I could do without the facial plastic surgery.