I have my procedure today to shut down my baby factory.

I am having a vasectomy, which will be performed by the great Dr. Yu at Associated Northwest Urology in New Milford. I know I am in good hands, but I am worried. Yes, I have a great doctor. Yes, it's a routine procedure. Yes, thousands of these are done everyday.

Here is what I am worried about:

The region that will be "adjusted" is my favorite region. Those are my guys. That is my home team. We've been buddies for a long time. The "Three Amigos" down there count on me for a positive customer experience. I am their last line of defense, and I am allowing someone to come at them with a knife today.

Does that seem fair to them? They have been through enough recently. They are used to being taken out for walks and affection, and they have been just put on a shelf. They have to be down there wondering where I am and what I have been up to.

Now, they are going to be invited out only to get assaulted with a knife. It's just wrong, and I feel guilty for allowing this to happen to my best friends in the whole wide world. Wish me luck. Wish them luck.