I annoy this man EVERYDAY

Yes, EVERY-SINGLE-DAY!  Today I asked him:

If he thinks I would make a good musical director - I have no musical background

If he would make out with a dude for 10 million

How long it takes to make a helicopter by hand with wood

If he thought my hair looked good

If he would smell me

If I could borrow ten bucks

I also told him:

I'm a sea captain

A survivalist

That I do professional dog grooming

That my armpits smell like unicorn dreams and cotton candy

Yes, he's not kidding, he has to hear this garbage everyday and has for 7 years.  That's my dude.  My googley eyed monkey boy, my Big Zen, My Big Hawaii, my butter boy, my boo, my angel face, my Bagel Samurai