How Get in Some Mom and Dad ‘Alone Time’ When You Have Kids

Recently, Mindy and I were out to dinner with friends who were annoyed about not having enough "alone time," because their kids were always home.We can certainly relate because when our kids were all living at home, it was always a challenge to find that must-have "private time" together. We've found that one of the major factors for a successfulI relationship is making time for each other.

If you and your significant other have chosen to eliminate the "sexy-time" from your relationship, you can bow out of my blog right here. These are suggestions for moms and dads attempting to "get their groove on" when their kids are still living at home.

My first suggestion is what I call, the "stealth technique."

Always make sure your bedroom door is locked before any of these techniques are attempted. Trust me, you DO NOT want one of the children nonchalantly wandering in wondering what in God's name the two of you are trying to do.

This could mean years of expensive therapy for your child. Simply put, the "stealth technique" requires the two of you to remain silent during your "session." That means no screaming, grunting, or the words, "YES, YES, YES!!!!"

This is a must if you don't want your children waking up from a sound sleep while you're trying to "get your groove on." This can be extremely difficult for some couples to adhere to.

Sometimes tools are needed for the "stealth technique" to be successful, such as a strong duct tape, which can be very effective, but is annoying when it has to be removed. Placing your hand over your partner's mouth at just the right time can also be helpful.

**Technique #2 is called, "The Reveal." This technique should only be employed if you're addressing a child who's 16 or older.

How it works is, you let them know that Mom and Dad need some private time together in the house. Another way this message can be delivered is to be perfectly blunt about your request.

Here's an example, "Your Mom and I need the house to ourselves tonight and we need you to disappear for the evening!" If they ask why, you tell them there will be debauchery and nudity.

At this point, your children will say very loudly, "Ewww that's so gross" or "That's disgusting!" and "Are you kicking us out of our own house, we don't have anywhere to go!!!!" Your answer should be, "Yes we are and find a place to go, you've got four hours to call some friends!"

If my first two suggestions are a major fail, then it's time to call up Technique #3, "Get A Room." 

Reserve a hotel room and just leave the kids home for the night, if they're old enough to stay by themselves. This will also illicit negative responses from your children.

Leaving your house for the night can be a pain in the ass, but staying in a hotel for the night is where you can really ... I'll let you finish the sentence.