Five Ways to Ruin Mother's Day

No one deserves a dedicated day more than our moms.

I have come through in a big way some years, and failed miserably others. First, let us lead with the positive. There was one year I wrote my mom a poem in calligraphy, and even burned the edges of the paper to give it an aged look. She still has the poem, and reminds me every chance she gets that that is how you do Mother's Day. Now, I feel like I am competing with myself. I will forever have to try and live up to that moment, and fail miserably.

Here are five examples of times I got it terribly wrong:

1 - The time I smelled of Jack Daniel's in church on Mother's Day - She did not like that let me tell you what.

2 - The time I went on and on about how brunch is not really a meal, and that the food available at Mother's Day brunches pales in comparison to real food. I was relentless, to say the least.

3 - The time my sister, Katy, and I got into an argument about her cat on Mother's Day. I said, "Your cat is not your child." She disagreed, and I disagreed back. Mom was not happy.

4 - The time I had littered the driveway with cigarette butts on Mother's Day. Mom wanted to keep things tidy for the company. What can I say? Sorry, Mom.

5 - The time I showed up to Mother's Day brunch with a questionable young lady that my Mom had never met. BIG MISTAKE. Lesson learned.

Avoid these actions at all costs on Mother's Day. Make her a homemade card expressing your devotion to her, and you will be all good my friend.