Farewell Rex Ryan You Sweet, Funny, Toe-Sucking, Chubster … You Will Be Missed

Rex Ryan ... I will miss you. Here's why:

The former New York Jets coach, who was fired early Monday, was fat - I love fat people. They are sometimes jolly, sometimes confrontational, sometimes funny and always down for a run to Red Robin.

He was a bragger - I'm a bragger.  If you tell people you're awesome 90 percent will believe it, and I'll take those numbers all day.

He has a foot fetish. Listen I'm not saying I do, I'm not saying I don't but when it leaked out to the media he did the best thing you can do he answered questions without giving any REAL answers.

He's a master manipulator.

He's actually a good coach,not great but good.  Listen, the guy had sub-par QB's in a league built on how good your quarterback is.

He's disarming. New York is a city that preys on those who don't have the social skills to deal with criticism. He could always use his charm to turn people to his side.

He's thickheaded. He insists that you can be the head coach of a football team and only pay attention to defense, the offense be damned. I'm thickheaded. I know how everyone should do everything, and that is that.  GOOD ON YA!

You plump, braggadocios, defensive guru with a foot in your mouth. YOU WILL BE MISSED!!!