As EJ's father, I could see the beginnings of a change taking place. He was beginning to taper his methadone and was talking about getting some serious help.

I remember maybe four or five years ago, EJ pulled me aside one day and told me he was so tired of feeling like his brain was being held hostage and that every day was a bad day, and asked if we could help him.

Step 1 - Admitting You Have a Problem and

Step 2 - Asking For Help.

So many individuals with a mental illness never even make it to Step 1.

The turning point came when he called it quits after a nine month toxic live-in relationship fell apart. We let him move back home and that's when I noticed some subtle changes. He smiled more and slowly but surely, stopped hiding in his room all day long. As he continued to decrease his methadone each month, I offered my two cents as to what I thought he was missing. I explained that by finding a therapist who was able to treat individuals like himself with BPD, combined with the possibility of prescribed medication(s) to help with his debilitating anxiety and intense mood swings, he just might be able to live a normal life. Whatever "normal" really is.

Credit - Ethan James
Credit - Ethan James
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EJ was honest with me and told me he just couldn't make that call himself because of his anxiety, and then asked if I could make it for him. I discovered a new clinic called A Prospering Vision and made him an appointment. After that first appointment, he came home with a huge smile on his face. He told me he was ready for Step 3 - Doing the Work!

The first step toward change is awareness.

The second step is acceptance

EJ continues "doing the work" by seeing his therapist every week, and I'm happy to report that he's methadone free and his anxiety is under control. He's one of my go-to Ethan Carey's Dance Machine mobile DJ's, he hosts Open Mic Night on Tuesdays at Icons Sports Bar & Grill in New Fairfield, and just recently kicked off Live Music Saturday Nights also at Icons! EJ will be the first one to tell you that what he had to do to get where he is today, was not easy, but if he can do it, anyone can. He invites you to check out his Ethan James Facebook Page for words of wisdom and motivation, and go see him perform. He's awesome!

On a personal note, I would you like to thank you for reading about EJ's battle with addiction and Borderline Personality Disorder. I hope we've helped some people realize there is help and support out there. For parents of adult children with BPD, there's a support group called Family Connections. To find where to get help and find a therapist click on nami.com or to learn how to live with someone with BPD, click on helpguide.org.

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