The most divisive man in America is coming to Connecticut. What do we need to do to get ready?

According to the News Times, The Donald is headed our way. He has a scheduled rally at the Connecticut Convention Center for tomorrow night at 4 PM in Hartford.

I have so many questions. Since there has been so much violence between supporters and protestors at Trump rallies around the country, will there be violence here? I have never perceived CT as an overly violent state. I could be wrong, and there may be statistics to say otherwise. I just don't know. Will Trump try from a fashion standpoint to appeal to the inner yuppie in CT? Will he be wearing Sperry's and a cardigan? Who's to say? Will he want to build a wall around the state when he gets here to keep surrounding state residents out?

More important what can we do to prepare for his arrival? What does, for instance, our architecture lack that might appeal to Donald? Gold comes to mind. We need more gold plated buildings. It's no wonder that he squints like Billy Baldwin all day. He's probably legally blind from staring at his gold plated structures for so many years.

Do we need to disguise our Latin population to avoid offending him?

Disclaimer: The last question was of course a joke in reference to his blatantly racist remarks about Mexican Americans early in his campaign. The views expressed in this editorial are not those of our parent company, advertisers or affiliates. If you are gearing up to write me hate mail my e-mail address is, and I will read your sensitive and nonsensical rant on the Ethan and Lou program while laughing at you. 

Must we spend the day tomorrow referring to anyone with disagree with as an idiot?

We know Trump likes to call people stupid, morons, etc. I think this might make him feel comfortable and needs to be considered.

All I know is that I smell fake tanner in the air. It's only a day away, and it's time to get ready for the Donald. Batten down the hatches, and comb your hair from the back of your neck to the front of your dome.