What do you do when the person sitting next to you on your flight to New York takes up too much space? You bite them in the can, that is what.

According to Gothamist, 38-year-old art curator, Stacy Engman, allegedly bit another woman during a flight to JFK last year. She is accused of biting her on the buttocks. Also, Stacy was wearing a tiara at the time. The supposed victim's name is Christina Tyler, and the two, according to other passengers, were fighting over their shared arm rest. Passengers say that Engman was also shouting, at one point, about how she had just spent the previous five days on a yacht.

OK, let's stop there, and examine some of what is being said. This Stacy character was, according to witnesses, doing the following:

  • Bragging about time spent on a yacht
  • Is an art curator
  • Was wearing a tiara
  • Bit someone's coolie

If these are indeed the facts, or, let's say, if any one of these is fact, I am not on this chick's side at all. Anyone wearing a tiara in full view of the public, at any time, is a menace to society. Tiara person is a land mine waiting to be stepped on so they can bite your ass, and brag about going yachting. Art curator is also a huge red flag. I say, it's time to stop these tiara wearing lunatics. I say, if you are an adult, wearing a tiara, seen in public having a dispute of any kind, you are immediately considered guilty until proven innocent, and not the other way around. This is the only way to stop these tiara crowned noodle baskets from ruining normal peoples' days. THE END.