A Stratford, CT Senior Citizen Accused of Sexually Defiling Shrubbery

I've "taken care of business" in odd places, but not in shrubbery! 

According to a post on NBCConnecticut.com , 81-year-old Stratford, CT resident Wallace Berg heard Mother Nature's calling on Monday July 27. Berg was arrested after one of his neighbors allegedly found a naked Berg "taking matters into his own hands" in shrubbery around their property on Russel Road.

Berg reportedly apologized and covered himself up with a grill cover before being arrested, according to the Connecticut Post

At 81-years-old ... jeez! I can imagine that jailhouse introduction speech:

"Yo man, what you in for?"

"Public indecency"

"Right on grandpa, Hey, can you smuggle me in some leaves and branches man?"

"Lemme ask Red, he's the man..."

Berg was charged with public indecency and second degree breach of peace. He's due in superiorcCourt tomorrow, Aug. 5.

HIDE YO FICUS! HIDE YO FERNS! 

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