As a healthy rule of thumb, your doctor will recommend that you make an appointment for your first colonoscopy as you near your 50th birthday.

To put it bluntly, this is when your gastroenterologist will need to look up your butt to check for polyps. Polyps can be very bad if they turn out to be cancerous. I just wanted to set the stage for the good stuff!

According to a story in the News-Times, once upon a time there was a Chinese visitor to Bangkok who had something stuck in her large intestine. The good news, the doctor successfully removed the object. The bad news, it was a $278,000 diamond the woman was accused of stealing from a jewelry fair.

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A Selection of Private Diamonds - Credit Getty Images
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After nature and a series of laxatives failed to reveal the diamond, the authorities located a doctor armed with a colonoscope and some pliers, who was able to excavate the 6 carat diamond in question from the woman's large intestine.

The 39-year-old, Jiang Xulian and a Chinese man were arrested at the Bangkok airport on their way to Thailand after police examined the surveillance video at the jewelry fair. The suspects initially would not cop to the robbery, but X-rays showed a diamond like object lodged in her large intestine which is when she came clean.

Not a common ploy for smuggling diamonds, hiding them up your butt is more commonly used by professional drug smugglers by going that extra step of swallowing condoms filled with cocaine or another drug of choice to get them through customs.

In 2012, a South African man was arrested, who was said to have swallowed 220 polished diamonds in an attempt to smuggle them out of the country. Busted, dumb-ass! They got him when the diamonds showed up in a body scan at Johannesburg airport as he was ready to grab a flight to Dubai!

What did we learn from this story? As a general rule, avoid sticking anything up your butt!

Listen to Ethan Carey on the Ethan & Lou Show weekdays from 5:30-10AM on 95.1 FM. You can listen online at i95rock.com/listen-live/ or by downloading the radioPup app for your mobile device.

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